Britney Sanders

How To Spruce Up Your Dorm In Case a Guy Stops By

Bringing a guy back to your dorm is a desperate move, but sometimes it has to be done. Sometimes there just isn’t another place to bring him – whether you want to bone down or you just want to fool around. Just to reiterate – your dorm room should be, like, the last place you take a guy, but if you have to, you want to make sure your dorm is always in the right condition to do so.

Here is how to spruce up your dorm in case a guy stops by…

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Always make sure your place is clean. You never want to take a guy back to a dorm that has multiple pairs of period stained underwear and training bras hanging to dry. Combine that with the bright fluorescent lights of the dorm room and you have one gross situation on your hands. So, make sure to always clean – at least your half of the dorm.

Have mood lighting on the ready. You know that bright fluorescent lighting in the dorm room? – It isn’t sexy to fool around under all that lighting. Fluorescent lighting is the same lighting that dentists use to spot your cavities – imagine what the guy can see under your lights. Imagine what you might see. Trust me, it isn’t flattering – not in the least. So, make sure to have some kind of lamp with a soft, yellow light you can turn on – unless you both want to suddenly be turned off.

Have nice sheets. You want the guy to feel like he is in a girl’s bed, not a hospital bed. This is why you have to amp up that thread count. Thread count is everything when you bring a guy back to your bed. In fact, even though a guy doesn’t know a single thing about thread count and Egyptian cotton, he does appreciate good sheets. You don’t need to go all the way to 1000, but you shouldn’t dip below 750.

Candles. Candles can make any room sexy. In fact, candles can even make a funeral home seem sexy. Also, candles can make a dorm room smell good. What happens when you mix a central air conditioning system, closed windows, ramen noodles and two women on their “moon cycle?”– A recipe for a very unpleasant smelling room. Candles, though, will mask the smell and make the room perfect for a little bumpin’ and grindin’.

Have a “system” with your roommate. The last thing you want is for your roommate to walk in on you doing it with some guy. This is why having some kind of system is important. You want to make sure she knows that the dorm is occupied. Also, you want to have some sort of code word for when you are on your way back with a guy. The last thing you want is to be forced to do that awkward “I’m kicking you out for an hour or two” thing. When it comes down to it, the more spruced up your dorm, the more comfortable it will be as a last minute, emergency place to get it on.

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